Yeah...

So I kind of scared myself with these next two.  I was really depressed one day and decided to write what I was feeling...and one thing led to another.

A Horrific Turn of Events

Silence

The one thing I haven’t experienced in the infinite time of life

That is, if you could call it “life”

Might as well call it “pre-death”

Because that is what it is

Life is just the slow and painful process of dying while either being overjoyed or experiencing the horrifying cruelty of reality

But silence is one thing that is never heard

Because you can always hear yourself breathing and thinking

Or the wind blowing outside

Or something of the sort

And when that happens for too long

You start to ponder terrible things

Like what death is like

The cold, black abyss that it is

And you go insane

Wanting to know what it’s like

But too scared to go through with you self-righteous suicide

So you start to see things

Terrible things

And it pains you so much

So you finally pull out the gun

And hold the cold metal tip against your temple

And you yell at the voices

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD”

And CLICK!

You pull the trigger

And you wake up from this horrible nightmare in a cold, sticky sweat

And you realize that right next to you
Is the cold metal gun with the cartridge right next to it

The Falseness of the Human Emotion

People say it's the music you listen to that makes you hurt yourself

It's not

People say it's the area you live in that makes you hurt yourself

It's not

People say that it's the people you hang out with that makes you do stupid things like hurting yourself
It's not

What makes you do stupid things?

It's your whole state of mind that makes you do it

All of the above contribute

But aren't the complete reason

What finishes it?

The way people react to you

The way they look at you and talk about you

The way tehy actually talk to you

The world is an unbelievably creul place

The people you hold so close and dear will eventually stab you in the back

You can trust no one

I hate everyone

I hate everything

I hate the world

And mostly, I hate my life

And I don't want to continue it any longer

And nothing in the world can change my feeling

You can't kill me

Nothing can

Because I'm already dead

And nothing can bring me back to life

So I wrote a new poem today in Chemistry during 9th period.  I showed Julie and she really liked it.

The Matters of a Broken Man
Deformed glass bending rays of darkness into my widely opened eyes
A darkness so black that it blinds me completely
And when all was veiled in shadow
A vision of you pierced through the darkness
I regained my senses and looked around
But you weren't there
I listened for your voice
But I couldn't hear it
I inhaled the air trying to detect you sweet, sweet scent
But I couldn't recognize it
I wandered the world in search of you
But you were no where to be found
So now I'm all alone
Sitting in my own personal taste of hell
All because of my undying love for you
My sweet, gorgeous, darling...

Hey what's up?

Zach Silver here.  I created this Xanga maily just so I would have a place to showcase my poems and lyrics without putting them on my real Xanga, bald_eagle.  Hope you enjoy them.

Here's some that I've written so far...

The Overwhelming Darkness in a Brightly Lit World

I see you and I remember why I survive

Why I live to see tomorrow

When I’m with you, nothing can go wrong

Nothing can bother me

Because I’m in an alternate reality known only as paradise

But then I realize that nothing good will ever come of this feeling

Dark clouds begin to shroud my personal utopia

The lush greenery turns colors and rots away

The beautiful rivers of water turn to that of blood

But this is all my doing

Because you don’t know

Loneliness and Fear

A powder keg

One more spark and it blows

Blasting everything around it

Not caring who it is

Hurting everyone and everything that’s close

The smog eventually clears and there’s nothing left

And you’re all alone because of idiotic recklessness

Reopened Scars

Broken hearts and unbandaged wounds

Has brought upon me my own doom

Right now I’m so confused

I really don’t know what to do

All these voices inside my head

Is making my body turn blood red

I’ve got a heart of lead

Falling down to be with the dead

What has happened to my world now

It used to be just great

But something going on inside my head

Makes me feel such pain and hate

What has happened to my world now

It used to be just fine

But something going on inside my head

Just makes me want to die

Trip and Fall

Slowly rising and spreading throughout

A smell so potent

A scent so strong

The choking starts as it engulfs the area completely

One cough, then two

Suddenly you’re on Cloud Nine

And nothing in this infinite universe of ours can be bothersome

Heads swaying side to side

Bouncing to an invisible beat

Colors and objects flying past wide eyes

Getting dizzy, falling

Up comes everything from deep down

And then there was black